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Once you've got everything
you've ever wanted, you've got everything to lose
There's more to balance than not falling over.
Saturday, April 25 / 9:18:00 AM


That quote best describes everything right now.It came in my fortune yesterday night :). So sigh, why do I feel so happy? I shouldn't be questioning that LOL, but it's quite a surprise. But yesterday was such a night to remember. Although it was short, kind of boring, it made such a big impact on me. It got me thinking. And I'm hella glad :). So my feet were hurting like 15 minutes in. But damn I like those shoes :) LOL. But it was pretty funny, especially when Tita wouldn't stop talking to me. I was feeling pretty damn proud, when my grandparents, and my aunts and uncle and cousins came. I felt like I was finally accepted, and I finally belonged. Despite the incident/s that happened before... I forgave. Never forgetten. But, I'm happy they came. I didn't expect that, but I didn't have to expect it. So, I felt like crying. First, when I saw them two. They didn't even wanna say HI. I said hi, and she gave me the dirties look ever. What is this? What did I freaking do to YOU? I didn't even do anything to you. I apologized, jeeze man. You're LUCKY. SO LUCKY, my family was there. If they weren't I would have talked to you. But knowing ME, I would apologize. But I'm sorry I didn't. And I'm sorry for everything I've done to you - even the things I didn't even REALIZE. So yeah, when I saw you... You didn't even say hi... I don't even think you looked at me... But, yeah I'm truly sorry towards you. But you expect alot from me too. And, that kind of hurts cause I don't expect anything of you. You've given me so much more than I've ever gave you. And I'm sorry. But it's hard. When I have limits, and am constricted of doing many many many things. And the thing is - That you know that. You know how strict my mom can be, and it's hard that you went over that extent, and did the "deed" which can't be undone, which HURTS like a female dog. Damn. But anywho,s thats not my point. Just saying. I miss you. So when I saw my grandma cry for me... I felt like bawling my eyes out. I couldn't get that off my mind. I know she crys alot, but for her to cry for me, was surprising. Love is such a funny thing. That you care so much for me, even though we hardly communicate. It just prooves to all that love is so strong. Despite actions, despite words, LOVE is still there. Especially in family. Knowing that your family, just makes things so much easier. No matter how many fights, arguments, or disagreements, you are still there for each other. No matter WHAT. And that's something that keeps me up. Thank you for coming. Thanks for making my night so special. :)